Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway!
by AnimegirlHF
Summary: If it isn't obvious enough, the Ronins are doing Whose Line is it Anyway! With me as the Host! So c'mon down and have some fun! Important note in my profile. Read it please. Chap 2 has been tweaked a bit.
1. Episode 1: The Start of the Show

Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway?!

Konnichiwa Minna-san! And welcome to Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway?! I will make a series out of this concept! Next installment: Ex-Warlord Whose Line is it Anyway?! And then: Other Characters Whose Line is it Anyway?! And then maybe I'll move onto a different anime, but for now it will be the Ronin Warriors. Since in real life, the show in interactive with the studio audience, I will try to do the same here. Whenever I need suggestions for the audience for the next game, you, the readers, will have to REVIEW to tell me your suggestions! (Hint Hint!) And if you give me a suggestion, you become a member of the audience! So add your internet name to the review or I'll give you a number like Audience Member 63. Now, go on down and read the fun!

Jill: (Pops in) WAIT! YOU FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!!!!!

Helen: Oo Oh yeah. Thank you Jill!

Jill: What are muses for?

Helen: Yes…Contrary to popular belief-

Kento: (Pops in and interrupts) What do you mean POPULAR?!

Helen: ¬¬;; I mean absolutely nothing by it Kento. Now go back backstage! We're going to start soon!

Kento: Oh. (Turns to audience and smiles) Ciao! (Goes backstage while the Kento fans create a swimming pool of drool)

Jill: (Looks at the drool) Ewww…

Helen: Anyways, I DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT OWN RONIN WARRIORS!! Or any other anime peoples that may be mentioned during the conduction of this fan fic. Now on with the show!

Episode 1: The Start of the Show!

(The camera focuses in on a live studio audience, who are cheering and clapping loudly. You'll notice that the Ex-warlords, Talpa, Badamon, Mia, Yulie, Kayura, the Ancient One and even White Blaze are all in the front row. Various other anime people are scattered throughout the audience as well as random fans. The camera moves around the audience and stops, giving you a distance view of the 5 young men sitting in chairs on the stage. A feminine voice begins to speak)

Feminine voice: Konnichiwa Minna-San! And welcome to Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway?! Tonight we have "Flare Up Now!" Ryo Sanada!

(Camera zooms in on the first young man, who's wearing a red sweatshirt and blue jeans. He has shoulder length jet-black hair, blue eyes and lightly tanned skin. He manages to give the camera a smile and a wave. Ryo fans in the audience go wild. The voice continues)

Feminine voice: "Super Wave Smasher!" Cye Mouri!  (Camera now zooms in on the second young man wearing a light blue t-shirt and jeans. He has red-brown hair and sea-blue eyes. He smiles shyly, a light blush on his cheeks, and gives the camera a tiny wave. Cye fans practically faint 'cause he looks so damn kawaii when he blushes. Voice continues)

Voice: "Thunder Bolt Cut!" Sage Date!  (Camera switches to third young man, whose blonde hair covers his right eye, but leaves his left violet one visible. He's wearing a forest green sweater and jeans. Hs smiles flirtatiously and winks at the camera. Sage fans DO faint. Voice continues)

Voice: "Iron Rock Crusher!" Kento Rei Faun! (Camera changes focus to the muscular fourth teenager with ash black hair, his trademark headband keeping most of it out of his blue eyes, sparkling with mischief. He's wearing a white t-shirt and brown overalls. He grins hugely at the camera and holds up his right hand in a peace sign. Kento fans begin to scream loudly. Voice continues commentary)

Voice: And "Arrow Shock Wave!" Rowen Hashiba! (Camera goes to last young man, who particularly stands out due to the fact that he has blue hair, with an ineffective blue headband to attempt to keep it our of his midnight blue eyes, one lock of blue falling between them. He's wearing a team jacket (his from the last episode of the TV series), a dark blue t-shirt and jeans. The poor guy looks mortified. He stares at the camera in utter horror until Kento elbows him in the stomach. (Gently though, like when you nudge someone to get their attention) Rowen jumps, looks questioningly at Kento, who points to the camera, then looks at the camera and somehow manages a shaky smile and a very tiny wave. Rowen fans need to be held back to be kept from running up on stage and trying to comfort the blue-haired boy. The camera now switches to focus on one person in the audience who is standing up and holding a microphone. It is a teenaged girl with brown eyes and shoulder length dark brown hair. She's wearing a black t-shirt that says "I'm like a SUPERHERO with no powers or motivation" in red letters on the front and jeans. She smiles hugely at the camera. This is where that mysterious voice was coming from)

Girl: And I'm your host, Helen aka AnimegirlH! Now let's go down and have some fun! (She descends to the desk on the side of the stage and takes a quick drink from the bottle of coke on the side. She continues to speak) YES! Hello and welcome to Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway?! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right! The points are like all of Talpa's plans to take over the world! They don't matter!

(Everyone except for Talpa and Badamon begin to laugh. Talpa give Badamon a 'look' (Not THAT kind of look you perverts!). Badamon nods then begins chanting, powering up some kind of energy beam, which he then aims and shoots at Helen)

Helen: (Sees the energy beam coming towards her and screams in terror before diving underneath her desk, while everyone gasps in horror. The Ronins and Ex-warlords power up to sub-armor, while Kayura twirls the Ancient's staff dangerously, and begin to advance on the trouble-making duo. Helen peeks out from beneath her desk, her face smudged with ashes and hair slightly singed)

Helen: THERE ARE RULES! AND THE RULES DO MATTER! THEY DO MATTER! RULE #1: DON'T KILL THE HOST!  (Badamon glares at her and starts to chant again. Helen panics) O.O SECURITY!!!!!!

(Two big, buff men with police uniforms on bust open the studio doors and jump down the stairs. The Ronins (Including the Ex-warlords and Kayura) back down, but watch anxiously. The Security Guards advance on Talpa and Badamon. Badamon aims his attack at them, but it doesn't work. Unfortunately for the trouble making evil duo, these security guards have been magically enhanced so that they have energy shields and the power to fly. They quickly apprehend Talpa and Badamon and 'escort' them from the premises. Everyone just gapes for a few moments)

Helen: (Takes a few deep calming breathes) Thank God that's over with. (Turns to audience) Anyways! The rules are as follows: Rule #1! No killing the host, no matter how bad her jokes are! (Audience begins to relax and laughs at this) Rule #2! Minimal cursing! Rule #3! Nothing too perverted! And Rule #4! Absolutely NO removal of clothing except for jackets and sweatshirts, provided there is something underneath! (Several audience members groan in disappointment. Helen grins apologetically) Sorry fans, no shirtless Ronins! (At this the boys in question blush madly and the audience laughs hysterically) OKAY, now if you've never seen the show before, the guys are going to come down here and make up everything off the top of their heads! All of it is improvisational! Which probably has Rowen so scared because he can't plan ahead! (Smiles sweetly to the blue-haired warrior as he blushes again and audience giggles)  Now, to start off they're going to play a little game called 'Props'! In this I give each team an item and they have to come up with as many things as they can using said item. Cye, Kento and Ryo! You'll be one team and here is your prop! (Helen reaches behind her desk to pull out 3 huge foam pencils. Each of the 3 boys take one, looking utterly confused) Sage and Rowen! You're the other team and here's your prop! (She reaches behind the desk again and comes up with what looks like flattened pom-poms attached to carpet squares. [If you've ever seen the Whose Line is it Anyway with Robin Williams as the special guest, it's like the props that he and Wayne had to use] Sage and Rowen give Helen strange looks)

Sage: What the hell are THESE?

Helen: (Looks at the props) …I have no idea. What makes you think that I know what they are?

Rowen: ¬¬ You're the HOST!

Helen: Exactly! I'm the HOST, not the props expert! Just play the game! Starting with Cye, Kento and Ryo!

Cye/Kento/Ryo: (Each take a pencil. Ryo and Cye begin to act like they're having a sword fight. Kento stands to the side, looking on anxiously)

Ryo: (Making corny light-saber sounds) BWAHAHAHAHA! You'll never beat me Qui-gon Jinn!

Cye: (Also making corny light-saber sounds) I'll try anyway Darth Maul!

Ryo: (Cackles insanely and makes as if stabbing Cye through the stomach)

Cye: (Eyes go wide and he gasps, collapsing)

Kento: (As Obi-Wan Kanobi [Like you couldn't already guess that]) NOOOOOOO!

BUZZ!

Sage: (Is holding a carpet square thing in each of his hands, shaggy side up) Excuse me sir!

Rowen: (Looks around a moment then points to himself) Who, me?

Sage: Yes you! Would I be able to interest you in some pets? (Holds out carpet squares)

Rowen: (Inspects squares) What ARE they?!

Sage: (Flustered) They're…uhhh…HAMSTERS! (Audience laughs)

Rowen: (Looks at Sage skeptically) …Hamsters?

Sage: No! Wait! They're gerbils!

Rowen: (Now REALLY doubt-full) Uh-huh…Gerbils…

Sage: No! Their mice! (Audience cracks up)

BUZZ!

Helen: Before Sage hurts himself trying to think of what type of animal he's trying to sell Rowen.

Ryo: (Holding up his pencil to the background of the stage, moving it around)

Kento: Ryo! What are you doing?

Ryo: I'm drawing the background!

Cye/Audience: (Cracks up)

BUZZ!

Sage: (Holding one of the carpet squares between his forefinger and thumb as far away as possible from his body) Rowen! I think I found what was gestating underneath your bed!

All: (Begin to laugh) BUZZ!

Kento: (Acting like he's lifting weights)

Ryo: (Acting like he's doing chin-ups)

Cye: (Acting like he's a pole-vaulter)

BUZZ!

Rowen: (Looks at the carpet squares, which are in Sage's hands, curiously) Say, aren't those pieces of Mia's carpet?

Sage: (Quickly hides the carpet squares behind back. Glances nervously around the room) NO! NO THEY'RE NOT!!

BUZZ!

Ryo/Kento/Cye: (Act like they're writing on the ground, some distance away from each other)

Cye: I KNOW the teacher said this would be a BIG test, but THIS is RIDICULOUS!

Audience: (Cracks up)

BUZZ!

Rowen: (Puts one of the squares on his head) Hey Sage! Like my new hairdo? (Pretends to flip hair)

Sage: (Fighting to keep a straight face) No! HAHAHAHA!

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BU-

Helen: Huh? (Pushes the buzzer again)

BULEK….(Buzzer dies)

Helen: Oh, shit. Anyways, great job guys! 1,000 points for each of you! Now we're going onto a game called "Weird Newscasters"! Alrighty! Ryo! You're going to be the main anchor! Cye! You're gonna be the co-anchor, and you're afraid of everything! Kento! You're doing sports and you're getting pulled over for drunk driving! [Note here. Drunk driving is not a good thing to do. I am NOT by ANY MEANS trying to promote drunk driving. This is purely for humor. Never do drink and drive in real life. Or somehow, you shall be hearing hell from me. Got it?] Sage! You're doing the weather, and you keep getting mobbed by your fan club members!

Kento: And? That happens to him everyday! (Audience laughs)

Sage: Grrrr….Kento! C'mere! (He begins to advance threateningly towards Kento)

Kento: (Seeing how mad Sage is, becomes a little nervous. Puts his hands in the air in a peaceful gesture) Dude! Chill out! I'm just kidding man! (Slowly backs away to the other side of the stage)

Helen: (Seeing that a fight is inevitable unless someone does something, begins to push the button for the buzzer)

BUZ-ELK. BULEK.

Helen: Damn buzzer! (Pulls out one of those horns they use at a game [You know, the kind that looks like a can with a horn on top?] and pushes down)

AAAAANNNNNNKKKKKK!!!

Everyone: (Covers their ears with their hands)

Kento: (Takes away his hands) HEY! Not so loud!!

Helen: Sorry, the buzzer's broken, I have to use _something_! Anyways, moving on! Rowen! You'll be doing World News and you keep forgetting what it is that you're supposed to be saying! And, start!

(News music comes on)  
Ryo: (Is sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage) Good evening, and welcome to the 6:35 and a half news! I'm your anchor, Norm Al One. Tonight's top news story! Strange beings from the planet Zycron have threatened to steal everyone's left shoe if we do not give them all the pudding in the world. [Yes, the left shoe comment was shamelessly stolen from Disney's 'Lilo and Stitch'. No, I do not own that either] (Audience laughs) Here to give you more details is my co-anchor, Scare D. Cat! Scare?

Cye: {Scared of everything} (Is sitting on a stool next to Ryo) WHO ARE YOU?! (Looks around wildly) WHY AM I IN A NEWS STUDIO?! AAAHHHH! (Points to the camera)  CAMERA! AAHHHH! (Points to the stage crew) A BIG GROUP OF PEOPLE! AAAAAAHHHHHH! (Points to the Studio audience) A _BIGGER_ GROUP OF PEOPLE! AAAHHH!! I WANT MY MOMMY! (Slips off the stool he's sitting on and curls into a fetal position, rocking back and forth. The audience cracks up)

Ryo: ¬¬;; …Ooookkaaaaayyy…Now to the Sports with Speed D. Mon! Speed?

Kento: {Getting pulled over for drunk driving} (Slurred speech) Yessshh…Weeeelllll, da football peoplesh sheem to be doing well…(Pretends to take hands off wheel and begins doing random punches) And in Boxshing, da Hulk ish domi-domein- he'sh doing great an- (Pretends to look in his rear view mirror) Aww shit. (Pretends to pull over) What sheemsh to be the problem offisher? I'M NOT DRUNKSH!

Ryo: Okay! Thank you Speed!

Kento: I SWEAR TO DRUNK I'M NOT GOD!

Ryo: Uh-huh…..Now-

Cye: (Interrupting) AHHH! POLICE OFFICER! (Points over to where Kento is, who is pretending to have a fight with the 'police officer')

Ryo: Calm down Scare! The police officer is with Kento, he's not going to bother you!

Kento: (Yelling) YOU CAN'T TAKE ME TO JAILSH! I DIDN'T DO NOTHSHING WRONG!

Ryo: OVER to weather with Win D. Day! Win, please tell us the weather!

Sage: {Keeps getting mobbed by his fan club} Yes, well, as you see, on Thursday- (Turns around and stops talking. Turns to face audience, with an annoyed look on his face) All right. Who took the weatherboard? (Silence. Sage pouts, making Sage-fans go wild) Fine. Anyways, on Thursday we'll be seeing some wind from the Ea- (Stops and turns around as he sees his actual fans advancing from the audience) Erm…Can I help you? (The fan-girls squeal and run towards him) OO GAH! (Sage begins to run around the stage, everyone just looking at the strange procession in confusion) THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN FOR _REAL_!!!

Kento: (Whistling innocently, and as Sage passes by, sticks out his foot, tripping the parade of fan-girls) Hehe. Oops.

Ryo: Oo;; Okay….On to World News with Fore Get Full! Fore?

Rowen: {Keeps forgetting what is that he's supposed to be saying} Huh? Oh yeah! Umm…What am I doing again? Oh right! Well, yesterday in Japan…ummm…uh…What's going on there again? Aww, skip it! Anyways, in Egypt…erm…dammit…uhhh…In Italy…ehhh…iiiii…ummm…And back to you Norm!

Ryo: ……Right! Well, this is Norm Al One, saying goodbye. Join us again at 9:20 for the 11 o'clock news!

(Ending news music plays)

Helen: Well, another 1,000 points for each of you! Now we're gonna go to a commercial break, 'cause I need to poll the audience for the next game! Goodbye!

Helen: Yay! The first chapter is done! (Does the dance of joy, blatantly ignoring the strange looks she's getting)

Jill: (Looks over story) You know, you mention in the beginning that Rowen's afraid because he can't plan ahead, yet I see no evidence of that anywhere else…

Helen: That's because he just _thinks_ he's not good at improv!

Jill: (Shrugs) It's your story. Anyways, what's this thing about 'polling the audience'?

Helen: I'm glad you asked! Now, for the next episode, the Ronin's shall be playing "Who's Line" and "Superheroes"! So, I need suggestions from the readers for lines, a situation for the people playing "Who's Line" to be in, superhero names and a crisis for the superheroes to solve!

Jill: For example?

Helen: Well, a suggested line could be "Your feet stink!", a suggested situation could be "Watching the Super bowl", and a suggested superhero name could be "Captain Boxer shorts" and a suggested crisis could be "All the anime in the world has disappeared"!

Jill: O.O WHAT?! ALL THE ANIME IN THE WORLD HAS DISAPPERED?! NOOOOOOO!!!! (Begins to wail in despair)

Helen: Jill! Calm down! It was just an example! It didn't happen!!!

Jill: (Stops) Really? I knew that!

Helen: (Skeptically) Sure ya did. Anyways, Read and Review! And send in your suggestions and you'll appear as an audience member! Ciao for now!

Jill: (Waves) Bye!


	2. Episode 2: Whose Line and Superheroes

I LIVE!!! I'm sorry I took so long! School decided to be a bitch and load me up with a ton of homework and then I had finals!! (Death glare to school) So, yes, I am finally going to update "Ronin Whose Line is it Anyway!" I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everybody who reviewed and gave me their ideas! You shall now become honorary members of the audience! And if, by chance, you have suggested something that I won't use until a later date, thank you for submitting your ideas in advance! So don't feel bad, I'll probably use all of your ideas at some point during the show! And another note: I am going to be on hiatus for about 3 weeks. You see, I am going on a trip to Italy with a group of girls from my Girl Scout Service Area, and therefore, not able to update. So, sorry for the inconvenience, but as soon as I return I shall try to get to work on the rest of the show! And without further a do, on with the entertainment!

Episode 2: whose Line and Superheroes!

(The camera goes past the applauding audience, getting a brief glimpse of the Ronins who are sitting in chairs and focuses on Helen at the desk on the side of the stage)

Helen: (Smiles hugely) Hello, and welcome back to Ronin Who's Line is it Anyway?! Where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right! They don't matter! Just like whatever the town idiot says, it doesn't matter! (Audience laughs) Anyways, our next game is going to be "Who's Line?" and yes, there is actually a game called "Who's Line?" here on "Who's Line is it Anyway?!" And this game is for Cye and Kento! (The boys look to each other, shrug and walk down to the center of the stage) So, we took the best lines that you suggested, and put them into these envelopes! (Hands one envelope each of the boys. They open them and put the small slips of paper into their pockets) Now, I need some suggestions for the scene that Cye and Kento have to act out!

Melissa: Road-trip!

Audience member #592: (Jumps up and down in their seat) Getting high behind the high school!

Kirie144280: All snowed-in in a log cabin in the mountains!

Audience member #56: On a date at the movie theater!

LaDyWiLdFiReKiTtY: At a basket ball game!

Audience member # 47: Getting drunk at a bar!

Helen: Hmmmm…Well, a few of those I don't want to see done…So…How about you guys took a road-trip up to the mountains, where you got snowed in and are now watching a basketball game on T.V.?

Kento/Cye: (Exchange glances) Okay.

Helen: Great! And start!

Kento/Cye: (Pretend to be sitting down)

Kento: (Looks enthralled at the 'T.V.' Suddenly jumps up, pumping his fist in the air) Yes! He made both foul point shots! You owe me 5 bucks man! (Turns to Cye, looking smug)

Cye: (Grumbles and hands over the money. He gets up and heads for the stage left) I'm going to buy the groceries. (Pretends to open the door, and stops) Erm…Kento? We have a problem. We're snowed in!

Kento: (Stops what he's doing) We're WHAT?!

Cye: We're snowed in! I told you it wasn't a good idea to come up to the mountains, but did you listen? _Noooo_!

Kento: I don't remember you telling me that!

Cye: Yes I did! You suggested it and I said…(Reaches into his pocket to pull out a slip of paper. Reads it) I sometimes don't make it to the bathroom in time! (Suddenly realizes what he read and turns a dark red color while the audience laughs)

Kento: (Fights to keep a straight face) Well, I don't see how that relates to taking a road-trip!

Cye: (Is embarrassed) I was sick that day! I was delirious and didn't know what I was saying or how I was saying it!

Kento: Sure, buddy, whatever you say. (Pats Cye comfortingly on the shoulder) Just remember this…(Rummages for a slip of paper, pulls it out and reads it) Stalin loves you.

Cye: (Looks confused) Stalin? …Isn't he a Russian dictator?

Kento: …Yes.

Cye: …Isn't he kinda…well…_dead_? (At this the audience begins to laugh)

Kento: Uhhh…Yeah, he is.

Cye: (Makes a disgusted face) EWWW!! That's disgusting man!

Kento: (Slightly flustered) Uhh…yeah…So, how are we going to get out of this mess?

Cye: (Looks at him strangely) What makes you think that _I_ would know?

Kento: But don't you know everything?

Cye: I'm not Dr. bloody-Bernofsky!

Kento: (Is confused) Who?

Cye: You know, the guy who said…(reaches into his pocket and pulls out a slip of paper) 'The sky is falling'!

Kento: Actually, I think that was a hen in a fairytale.

Cye: I meant he's the guy who knows everything!

Kento: Ohhh…So why don't we ask _him_ for help? (Audience begins to laugh)

Cye: …He doesn't exist. He's a figment of somebody's imagination. He's (Rummages for another slip of paper. Quirks an eyebrow at the sentence) 'She's going to blow'?

Kento: Uhhhh…okay…So, this guy's not real? (Currently, everyone is thinking 'duh!')

Cye: Yep.

Kento: …Why don't we call Rowen?

Cye: Kento, mate, what could Rowen _possibly_ do in this situation?

Kento: …He could…(Pulls out a strip of paper) 'Meet me in my room at 5 for a…' (Reads the rest of the sentence to himself and begins to blush furiously, dropping the paper to the ground) Uh, never mind!

AAAANNNKKKKKK!!!

Helen: (Is trying very hard not to fall out of her chair laughing) All right, that's enough! I don't think we want this to go on any longer! And 1,000 points to each of you!

Kento: (Laughs nervously and heads back to his seat, Cye following him)

Helen: (Smiles evilly as Kento begins to sip at his water) So, why don't you tell us what the ending to that sentence was Kento?

Kento: (Chokes on his water and is sent into a small fit of coughing while turning a lovely shade of red as the audience laughs. When he finally gets his breathing under control, he turns to Helen with a horrified look on his face) WHAT?!

Helen: (Laughing) I was kidding! (She looks thoughtful) You know, I'm not sure that we want to know what the rest of that sentence was…(In the background, Kento nods furiously) Anyways, the next game is superheroes! (The audience cheers) Now, we're going to start the game out with Rowen!! (Audience cheers as Rowen makes his way to the center of the stage, looking slightly nervous) And we also need a name for our superhero!

Melissa: Captain Claustrophobia!

Kirie144280: Sir Dance-a-lot!

Megan: Annoying Catch Phrase Man!

LaDyWiLdFiReKiTtY: Mighty Hotdog Man!

Soon to be world renown Gracie: Thinks everything is gelatin man!

Audience member # 94: Superman!

Helen: (Turns to the general direction in which audience member #94 is sitting) We're not using already existing superheroes! That's called plagiarism! (Turns to Rowen) Anyways, Rowen, I think you'd make a _wonderful_ Mighty Hotdog Man. (Smiles innocently at him)

Rowen: (Makes a face but nods anyway, knowing that he can't get out of it)

Helen: Great! Now, we need a crisis!

LaDyWiLdFiReKiTtY: There are no more hotdogs!

Soon to be world renown Gracie: The world's supply of deodorant is being stolen by crazed people called 'anime writers'! (There are a few raised eyebrows at this one)

Megan: All the elephants are turning into penguins! (There are more raised eyebrows at this)

Melissa: Evil mutant chickens are taking over the world and spontaneously crossing the roads for no apparent reason! (Everybody is confused by this one)

Kirie144280: Everyone's eyebrows are falling off!

Audience member #37: The world will be destroyed if we do not appease the volcano gods!

Helen: All right! That's enough! We're getting too weird here. Anyways, Mighty Hotdog Man, it looks like the evil mutant chickens are taking over the world and spontaneously crossing roads. What are you going to do? (Smiles evilly)

Rowen: (Looks at Helen in something akin to complete horror) Can't you pick another? If I'm Mighty Hotdog Man, why don't you make the crisis 'there are no more hotdogs'? That would make sense!

Helen: Who said it had to make sense? (Audience laughs) Oh, and you have to name the other superheroes as they join you.

Rowen: O.O I have to WHAT?!

Helen: Relax, you can use the other names that the audience suggested. And get a move on! Those mutant chickens wait for no man!

Rowen: (Sighs and proceeds to pantomime cooking hotdogs on the barbeque. He moves around the stage for a moment) Now where did I put those buns…? (He suddenly looks up, obviously startled) Is…is that a chicken? (Pretends to look in the distance as the audience laughs) It's…crossing the road? (Raises an eyebrow) And I thought there was no truth to that joke…(Begins to rummage around) Now where are those bu– (Looks up again, in a different direction this time) Is…is that another chicken?! …And it's crossing the road too? Wait. I should get the Mighty Hotdog Binoculars! (Pretends to take out binoculars and adjust them as the audience laughs at the corny name) Gadzooks! That's no ordinary chicken! That's an evil mutant chicken! And it's…spontaneously crossing the road…(Turns in another direction) And there's one over there! (Turns to another direction) And one over there! (Turns behind him) And there's one at the end of the street! That can only mean one thing…(Pretends to take the binoculars away from his eyes and looks at the audience dramatically) The evil mutant chickens are taking over the world and spontaneously crossing roads! (He keeps this pose for a moment before sniffing the air) Is something burning? (Stands there for a moment) O.O THE HOTDOGS! (Rushes over to where the barbeque is and frantically pantomimes taking the hotdogs off of it as the audience laughs at him) And I still need the buns!

Ryo: (Jogs to the middle of the stage) Hey Mighty Hotdog Man! Did you know that there are evil mutant chickens everywhere?

Rowen: Actually, yes I did Captain Claustrophobia! (Absentmindedly pantomimes putting the hotdogs back on the barbeque)

Ryo: (Shrugs and then looks around the stage with an expression of fear on his face) Why is your backyard so _small_?!

Rowen: Uhhh, Captain? My backyard is the biggest in the city.

Ryo: But you have too much stuff in it! There's not enough room!

Rowen: All that's back here is my barbeque!

Ryo: (Points near said 'barbeque') Your hotdogs are on fire!

Rowen: WHAT? (Turns and acts surprised) Quick, get the fire extinguisher! It's in the kitchen!

Ryo: The kitchen's a small place! I can't _stand_ small places!

Cye: (Comes onstage) I came as soon as I could! (Looks in direction of 'barbeque') Hey! Your hotdogs are on fire!

Rowen: Oh, thank God you're here Annoying Catch Phrase Man! Quick! Get the fire extinguisher!

Cye: (Looks annoyed for a moment before pointing at Rowen) Only _you_ can stop forest fires!

Rowen: Yes, whatever! Just get the fire extinguisher!

Cye: Be cool about fire safety.

Rowen: (Irritated) Just get the dammed fire extinguisher!

Ryo: (Wailing) WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! The room is filling with smoke and we'll all die of smoke inhalation! (Hugs himself)

Rowen: (Turning to him) Okay, first of all, there isn't a room to fill up _with_! Second, we're not going to die unless the mutant chickens kill us. And third, the fire wouldn't be a problem if SOMEONE WOULD GET THE FRIGGIN FIRE EXTIGUISHER!!!

Cye: Welcome to my world.

Rowen: (Rounds on Cye, looking as if he could strangle him) If you would stop _standing there_, then we could DO something!

Sage: (Jumps onstage) Sorry I'm late. The rabid fan girls were mobbing me again.

Rowen: Sir Dance-a-lot! You finally made it!

Sage: (Gives Rowen a good long glare then begins to dance around the three other boys) So, did you know that the mutant chickens are trying to take over the world and have crossed almost every road in the country already?

Rowen: No, but we have a more pressing matter at hand! My hotdogs are on fire and no one will get me a fire extinguisher!

Sage: (Clearly scandalized) But the fate of the world is at stake! Why are you concerned with your _dinner_?!

Rowen: (Strikes a heroic pose) Because I'm Mighty Hotdog Man! Defender of hotdogs everywhere! Making sure that every hotdog is cooked to perfection! (Audience laughs hysterically)

Cye: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Superman!

Rowen: Wrong superhero kid.

Ryo: There are too many people! (Brings his hands to his throat) I can't breathe! We're all gonna die!!!

Kento: (Runs onstage) Sorry I didn't get here earlier! Those evil mutant chickens kept crossing the road right in front of my car!

Rowen: Thinks Everything is Gelatin Man! We need your help!

Kento: (Scowls at Rowen) How can I help you?

Rowen: (Turns away from him and looks towards the others. Ryo is cowering in the center of the stage, Cye is shouting random things like 'Thank you, thank you very much' [which was done in a corny Elvis Presley voice] and Sage is still dancing around everyone) We need a plan in order to – (Stops and stares at Kento who is picking at his hair) What are you doing?!

Kento: Is your hair made of blue raspberry jell-o?

Rowen: (Blinks) Excuse me?

Kento: 'Cause you know, it's the perfect color for it.

Rowen: (Pulls away from him) No, it is not! Now we need to get back to putting out the fire!

Sage: (Dances up to him) NO! We need to work on a plan to save the world from the mutant chickens!

Ryo: There are too many people! …Walls…closing in…air supply…getting low…(Begins to sway)

Rowen: THERE ARE NO WALLS IN MY BACKYARD!

Kento: Hey, this lime jell-o isn't very good…

Rowen: O.o _Stop eating the grass_!

Kento: Oh…(Looks at his hand) I _thought_ it tasted weird…

Cye: Spit that out! You don't know where it's been!

Sage: (Dancing around) We need to find a way to save the world from the evil mutant chickens!

Ryo: (Is sitting on the stage with his legs pulled up to his chest and is hugging them. He is ignoring everybody else) Wide-open spaces…wide-open spaces…

Rowen: But what about my hotdogs?!

Sage: (Almost stops dancing for a second) Who cares about your stupid hotdogs?! We have to save the world!!!

Kento: Why don't we have a huge barbeque and have the evil mutant chickens as the main course? (Thinks for a moment) …And cherry jell-o for dessert?

Everyone else (On stage): (Look thoughtful)

Sage: (Suddenly remembers that he has to keep dancing and begins to dance around again) You know, that's just crazy enough to work!

Rowen: Can we have hotdogs too?

Cye: Why not?

Rowen: I'm in!

Ryo: But…but there will be lots of people there…That means there won't be much room…it'll be a small space…I hate small spaces!! OO (Begins to rock back and forth and begins his mantra again)

Kento: (Pretending to be glad that everyone liked his idea) Great! I'll go get the jell-o! (Runs offstage and then goes to his seat in the background)

Sage: (Dances over to Rowen. Looks at him while dancing in place and says sarcastically) I'm so confident in your abilities to think of the good of all humankind.

Rowen: (Pretending not to catch on to the sarcasm) Thanks!

Sage: (Glares at Rowen then dances away) I'm off to buy a giant barbeque! Have Annoying Catch Phrase Man round up some hungry people! (Dances offstage then takes his seat, looking extremely relieved that it's over)

Ryo: (Still in his fetal position and still chanting)

Rowen: (Turns to Cye, ignoring Ryo) Well, you heard him. Get going!

Cye: (Begins to walk off then turns and says in a cheesy Schwarzenegger accent) I'll be back.

Rowen: Yes, I know you'll be back…And you'll bring lots of hungry people with you!

Cye: Asta la vista baby!

Rowen: Yes! You're _leaving_! Now!

Cye: Ciao for now!

Rowen: Just leave! (Pushes Cye towards the end of the stage)

Cye: (After a disapproving glare at Rowen for shoving him, sits in his seat)

Ryo: (Still on the ground, looking extremely scared)

Rowen: (Looks down at Ryo curiously and joins him on the floor) You know, there's a big field on the other side of town. Why don't you go hang out there for a while?

Ryo: (Looks up at him) A big, wide-open field?

Rowen: Yep.

Ryo: (Getting up shakily) A big open field…that'll be good…yeah…(Walks offstage then takes his seat, looking relieved)

Rowen: (Gets back to his feet and strikes a heroic pose) Well, it looks like the world is saved! (Looks over to where his 'barbeque' and his eyes widen) THE HOTDOGS ARE STILL ON FIRE!!!! (Runs offstage in the opposite direction of everyone else)

AAAAANNNNNNKKKKKKKK!!

Helen: Okay! Okay! (Laughing loudly) You guys are done! That was great!

Rowen: (At this looks up at the ceiling and mouths 'Thank you God' then takes his seat)

Helen: (Smiling hugely) That was great! Another 1,000 points to each of you! Now our next game will be…

Helen: Well, here we are at the end of another chapter! And again, I apologize for not getting it out sooner! And

Jill: Oh, enough with the apologies! What's going to be in the next chapter?

Helen: Okay, okay! Geez, you are so impatient! Anyways, next episode we shall have 'Two Line Vocabulary' and 'Foreign Film'! Now, I already have the lines for 'Two Line Vocabulary' but I need a situation for the Ronins to act it out to. And for 'Foreign Film' I need a language for them to be pretending to be speaking in.

Jill: And please try to make it a widely known language! Don't give us something that is remote like Ancient Egyptian or something.

Helen: Yes, please make it a language that most people know what it should sound like. Also I need a situation for the foreign language-speaking people to be acting out. Also, I would like to be able to involve all the Ronins in 'Foreign Film' so, would any of you offer to become part of the game? You see, to involve all the boys, we need another person to either act as a translator, or as a speaker of the language. I must also say, that if you do offer, that you won't really have a say in what you would say in response to anything said in the chapter. If you are offended easily, then I would suggest requesting that you be a language speaker. That way, anything that you say will be translated, and if something is said that you don't like, then you can blame it on a Ronin's dirty mind or something. Anyways, please review!

Jill: Yes! Send in nice reviews! They make us happy!

Helen: Yep! And I'm off to Italy! So, I'll see you all when I get back! I promise to try and work faster when I return! Ciao!


End file.
